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Revenge Story #98

I had an ex-friend who needed some payback, big time.

She was a snotty, holier-than thou, pretend friend. In that I mean she used people, in devious subtle ways. This amazes me due to the fact that she wasn't a very smart person, but I found out she was cunning, especially if she could get people to help her do things that involved work, evidently a 4 letter word of the bad sort to her.

So, I sat and waited and decided on a plan of action. Kecia (and she is the only white girl I've ever seen with this name) LOVED cats. She and her mother had 14 cats, and this was in a half-double. So very late one night, I drove to a spot where an unfortunate cat had been run over. It was gone. I wasn't about to give up, and remembered passing a raccoon that was laying on its back, legs straight up in the air. I couldn't find that. But I did remember where a skunk was lying, quite ripe, too. So I drove there put on my gloves, and pulled it from the ground. It made a sucking noise, so I knew it was opened up. I then placed said skunk in a garbage bag, tied it, placed that bag in another bag. Off to her residence.

By this time it was 4:00 am. I parked up the street, took out the loaded bag. When I got to her car, I slammed the skunk down at the base of the front hood, and slid it all the way up, (leaving bits of skunk all the way) I left the remainder on the windshield. Then I left, ditched the garbage bags and gloves in a trash bin on another block. What I didn't know was that she had only arrived home about 1/2 hour before I skunked her. And she didn't get up until about 2:30 PM the next day. It was a very hot day, too. And to show what a bitch she was, not one of her neighbors called her to let her know what had been done.

When she finally lumbered out of her house, the car was covered in flies. Her neighbors were sitting on their porch, rocking in their chairs."See that"? "Yep, sure do." She called the cops, and was totally hysterical. They took pity on her blubbering butt and hosed off the car, which amazed me because these local yokels do nothing they don't have to, usually. She told them she knew who did it, gave them my name, I'm certain, BUT; since there were no witnesses, they couldn't do anything.

I never got a call from the cops, but Kecia called my boyfriend blubbering and whining and stuff. I told him he should have hung up, but he said it was funny, and he wanted to find out what happened. It would have been twice as horrifying to her if it had been a cat. Never heard from her since, but the Lord has his own revenge, too. She got pregnant, tricked her dimwit boyfriend into marrying her, and is now divorced.

Thank you, God.

("Yokel?" Ha, ha, ha. I haven't head that word for a looong time. Nice revenge, and nice use of the nouns and adjectives thorough out the story! Oh yeah, God sent me an email and wanted me to tell you, "You're Welcome!" and "Anytime!" Such a nice deity. . .-- ThePayback.com)

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