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Mean
Boss
Naughty
Version (excerpt)
Dear (your
boss here),
. . . It is not known what junior
college you received your education from, but it is obvious that
you did not gain any schooling on people management. . . Your
managerial skills are so poor that your employees are surprised
that you have survived this long in the corporate world. . .
Sometimes they question the intelligence of this company for hiring
such an incompetent ass such as yourself. . .
Nice
Version (excerpt)
Dear (your boss),
. . .You seem to be a mean boss and
your employee does not know how long they can work for you if you
don't correct this problem. . .Due to the demand a boss's role can
put on people, stress levels can get high without you noticing the
change. . .One easy recommendation is to read a book on communication
and management skills. . .
- Includes a lemon enclosure
Bad
Breath
Naughty Version (excerpt)
Dear (whoever),
. . .Someone wants you to know that your breaths smells like death. Your breath really smells horrible and you would do a service to the world if you brushed your teeth more than the recommended two times a day. . . The odor of your breath gives the impression that you not only neglect brushing, but that you spend time eating terribly abnormal things like animal feces. . .
Nice Version (excerpt)
Dear (whoever):
. . .A friend of yours is concerned about a problem you have and wants to help you. . .You seem to have a problem called Halitosis, common known as bad breath. . . There are solutions to this problem, and your friend would like to help. . . To help control or eliminate this problem, you should brush your teeth at least two times daily. . . Remember, your friend did not want to hurt your feelings-- that's why they had ThePayback.com send you this anonymously. . .
- Includes mouthwash & toothpaste enclosures
Body
Odor
Naughty Version (excerpt)
Dear (whoever),
. . .Your body odor is so foul that I would rather smell babies diapers for a living than stand next to you for more than 10 seconds. . . I do know where you are from, but in America we shower regularly and use soap-- please change your ways. . .
Nice Version (excerpt)
Dear (whoever),
. . .You seem to have a problem with controlling your body odor. . .You may not know you have this problem, but others do. . .the causes of body odor are numerous and varying. . .To help control or eliminate this problem, you should shower daily or maybe twice daily. . .
- Includes a soap and deodarant enclosure
Always
Late
Naughty Version (excerpt)
Dear (whoever),
. . . Your tardiness is an embarrassment to anyone that socializes with you. . . In America, we show up when we say we are going to. If you cannot accept this, please go to another country that tolerates constant lateness. . .Absolutely no one can count on you to be somewhere when you say you will. . .
Nice Version (excerpt)
Dear (whoever),
. . . A friend of your is concerned about a problem you have and wants to help you. . .You seem to have a problem with always arriving late. . .Your tardiness directly affects a number of people and indirectly effects scores of others. . .a planner would be a wise investment, as they aid in establishing proper time management. . .
- Includes a watch enclosure
Annoying
Co-Worker
Naughty Version (excerpt)
Dear (whoever),
. . .Working with you is similar to listening to the same song for 48 hours straight. . .If I had not learned to avoid you as much as possible, your personality would have forced me to quit by now. . . It would be more humane to have a co-worker eternally listen to the sound of fingernails scratching against a chalkboard, than to have them work with you. . .
Nice Version (excerpt)
Dear (whoever),
. . .You seem to have a problem with annoying your co-workers. You may not know you have this problem, but others do and it's affecting your relationships with people at your job. . .To help control or eliminate this problem, you should bring something to work to occupy your time during breaks or anytime you have extended free time. . .It's not that your co-workers don't like you, it's just that the office can get a little hectic at times and sometimes you do not help the situation. . .
- Includes a flyswatter enclosure
Bad
Haircut
Naughty Version (excerpt)
Dear (your barber),
. . .You need to get you eyes check by a licensed eye doctor because some is terribly wrong with your hand-to-eye coordination. . . Perhaps you have the shakes??. . . I could have cut my own hair with a blindfold on and done a better job than you. . .
Nice Version (excerpt)
Dear (your barber),
. . .When people leave the barbershop, they expect to look as they pictured in their minds before the haircut. Sometimes that can be a hard standard to live up to, but if it is a current style, it should not be too difficult for an average barber. . .always cut the customer's hair in the style that they request. Even if you have a style that you think they would look better in, it is usually not worth it to try and see.
- Includes a broken scissors enclosure
Pest
Naughty Version (excerpt)
Dear (whoever),
. . .In life there are those of us that were not blessed with any social skills. You are one of those people. . . Talking to you is a complete waste of my time. . . Please think before you speak,. . .You will please everyone by keeping quiet and staying to yourself.
Nice Version (excerpt)
Dear (whoever),
. . .This friend really cares about you and your feelings, but believes that they would not really be a friend if they did not help you solve this problem. . .People can be classified as pests for a variety of reasons. . .Some people fail to listen and instead dominate an entire conversation. . .To help control or eliminate this problem, maybe you think about expanding your network of friends so that you can distribute your time amongst them all. . .
- Includes a flyswatter enclosure
Mean
Police Officer
Naughty Version (excerpt)
Dear (Officer Whoever),
. . .Hi swine, my interaction with you was less than stellar. . . You wonder why people hate cops. . .Not only are you incompetent, you also lack basic people skills. . .Pigs like you never had control of your own lives, so you abuse you power as an officer.
Nice Version (excerpt)
Dear (Officer Whoever),
. . .You seem to be a poor police officer and your friend believes it is very important to your success and reputation that you correct this problem. . .Some people you deal with have a dislike for police ingrained in them and this can make it very hard to handle those situations appropriately. . .To become the best police officer that you can, there are many things you can do. . .
- Includes a pork product enclosure
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